There are several possible causes for such a stressful reaction. The first cause could be unrealistic expectations. That is, we may envision a perfect family gathering out of a Norman Rockwell painting, where everyone gets along great and everything is just ideal.

How does one adjust these expectations to be more realistic? Probably the best way is to accept one another and don’t use family gatherings as an avenue to change someone you typically don’t get along with. Enjoy the family, "warts and all."

Another possible cause is the marathons we often put ourselves through at this time:

"I need to bake 21 dozen cookies by 3 a.m. tonight!"

Why such a press?

"For the cookie exchange at work!"

In this type of marathon, a person is likely to drop off the healthy routines he or she uses throughout the year. Routines like healthy eating, exercise and sleep are the first three to be abandoned. This is bound to cause fatigue and more stress. How does one deal with this? Maintain the helpful routines, especially exercise. Use some creativity as far as timing, but make sure to continue.

A last possible cause may be the fact that this Holiday will be the first without a loved one present. We may have lost a family member this year, and we try to "get through" the holidays without feeling "too bad."

While sadness and grief are healthy and normal, one should carry on a tradition of the departed family member. Additionally, a family could start a new tradition in honor of the loved one. Celebrate the spirit and memory of that person.

From my home to yours — have a blessed season!

Dr. Phil Scozzaro is a licensed psychologist at the Blick Clinic, Akron, Ohio, and serves on the adjunct faculty of the University of Akron. He and hi family have been members of the parish for five years.